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Pacman Never Went To Rehab

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By Kenny Sahr - Apr-02-2014

Who’s in rehab and who’s wearing an orange jumpsuit at the LA County Jail? Who is the most likely to OD (overdose) in 2014? Why do video game characters have such a perfect behavior record and how does this affect the medium?

NPCs Don’t Go To Rehab

Rock stars and movie stars have always excelled at getting in trouble. Sometimes this is good for the brand while other times it leads to an early date with death. The internet is full of “celebrities in rehab or prison” lists. No NPC (non-player character, the term for video game characters) has ever checked into the Betty Ford Clinic or NYC’s infamous Riker’s Island jail.

NPCs Don’t Do Politics

Every time I hear Barbra Streisand singing “Memories, like the corners of my mind,” I recall memories of her political rants. Celebrities – including Streisand – do great things for causes they believe in. I wouldn’t want to live in a world that denies them these rights. People who win talent contests tend to have more extreme political views that those of us who live normal lives. When is the last time you heard a celebrity say, “My political views are always evolving and I respect both sides?” Video game characters, on the other hand, never leave the “in-game experience” to go to a political rally.

In 2000, Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich testified before the Senate, explaining why the heavy metal rockers were suing filesharing network Napster. Metallica won that case, but the band’s image took a hit. It was out-of-character for fans to hear the aggressive thrash beat drummer talking like a copyright lawyer.

Immerse Me!

For me, it ruins the immersive experience to think of what a musician or actor said about President Whoever. I’ve never heard even one of Justin Bieber’s songs, but I already know too much about him. The entertainment sections of news sites are filled with articles about the personal lives of celebrities and very little on the content they create.

Video game characters don’t have the opportunity to ruin the story. Everything I know about Elizabeth Comstock is from Bioshock Infinite. She never gave a speech with a chair at the Republican National Convention like Clint Eastwood did in 2012. She never trashed the President (and for me, it doesn’t matter which one or which side) like Harry Belafonte, of Banana Boat Song (Day-O) fame.

Pacman, Mario, and Lara Croft display impeccable behavior outside of the games they star in. Even the shady characters of zombie horror game, The Last Of Us, have yet to appear in a mugshot. You’d think that the thugs from Grand Theft Auto would show up downtown with shotguns. Maybe they’re too busy with their Bible lessons.

Bob Dylan – The Immersive Entertainer

Bob Dylan wrote “The Times They Are a-Changin’”, “Blowing in the Wind” and dozens of protest songs. In his personal life, he shuns politics and rarely gives media interviews. In 1964, he told Village Voice columnist Nat Hentoff, “Me, I don’t want to write for people anymore – you know, be a spokesman. I’m not part of no movement. I just can’t make it with any organisation.”

In 2004, Dylan was interviewed on 60 Minutes. Here is what he said about politics to Ed Bradley:

“I never wanted to be a prophet or savior. Elvis maybe. I could easily see myself becoming him. But prophet? No. My stuff were songs, you know? They weren’t sermons,” says Dylan. “If you examine the songs, I don’t believe you’re gonna find anything in there that says that I’m a spokesman for anybody or anything really.”

“But they saw it,” says Bradley.

“They must not have heard the songs,” says Dylan.

If only Hollywood would take a cue from the master. Until then, I will continue to immerse myself in Bob Dylan and video games.